The movie picks up (exactly) eight years have passed since Harvey Dent died - and this was for some reason enough a very big deal - and Batman took the fall for it. Mr. Wayne himself has spent those years well - if by well I mean utterly destroyed by Rachel's death - but is forced back into the world when a dark new threat rises: Bane.
I must say I have been awaiting this day for a long time, ever since Heath Ledger's legendary portrayal of Joker totally blew me away. I knew Nolan knew what he was doing. I knew it! And after the thrilling ride that lasted two and a half hour, the cinema joined in to offer it a standing ovation.
I, on the other hand, offered it a silent, sitting facepalm - and what follows from here on out is a detailed reason for why.
To start off, here's a cliche for you. I wanted to love it. There. I said it. And it's all true.
It's quite funny when you think about the movie's title. The truth is that Batman does more falling than rising. He starts off having fallen, he falls again, then falls a third time. One fall in particular is so damn long that you start forgetting all about Batman as you enjoy Bane's acts of madness across Gotham. A better title would be Bane Rises, Featuring Batman, With Anne Hathaway Periodically Being Funny and Flexible.
Let's not get ahead of ourselves.
The Dark Knight Rises seems very... familiar, to those who have been fortunate enough to witness the previous titles. Hans Zimmer is in charge of music again, and the original cast returns to put closure to Nolan's trilogy. But there is something awfully wrong about all of it.
 |
| You may know him as the sarcastic guy from Inception, but Tom Hardy sure does a fine job in portraying Bane. And he looks better than he did in the comic, too. |
- Hey, let's chase Batman down instead of the armed robbers that just took hostages and attacked the stock exchange. Bring in the whole force while you're at it so we can get this very nice chase scene with around forty cars against one man.
Seriously, is that what the populace would have wanted? Is the sense of justice in the city that bad? If so, then I don't see why anyone would want to save the people there. Wake up, Batman!
It wouldn't have been so bad if the pace picked up, but not long after, the whole 'conspiracy' plot that appeared to be the center of the movie gave way for a more direct approach spearheaded by Bane himself. And with it comes all the problems. And there are a lot of them.
Problem 1: Too much, too fast.
Nolan's movie suffers from an excruciating lack of time. It almost appears that they shot too much, but still wanted to keep it all. That's the best explanation I could come up with - the second best being that it was cut by a toddler with too short an attention span and too much sugar running in his clogged burger-laden blood stream. Cut, cut, cut, cut. New scene upon new scene. A good example is what was supposed to be a touching, romantic moment between the man himself and his new love interest, but that falls entirely flat on the floor as they have no time to establish any kind of atmosphere at all. In fact, it took me by surprise, simply because how little emotion there was involved. But hey, I guess he was just ready for it, you know. And to be fair, it was she who did the advancing. Guys just can't stop themselves you know.
And the love scene flies past so fast! They kiss! Three second mark! They lie by the fireplace under a blanket! Two seconds! Speed it up, guys! They're... already done. Perhaps Wayne is just that bad a lover, what do I know.
Another marvelous example is when Catwoman and Mr. Slezy Hairdo battle it out because the former is after an object, and the following dialogue goes something like this:
- I want (X)!
- Do you mean (X), the thing that does (lengthy description of object's purpose)?
Let me make one thing clear: this is NOT a good workaround. It's a pathetic excuse to shave time. Why would he take the time to spill the purpose of this item when she clearly knows about it? The audience is supposed to be invisible, but they clearly forgot that part. There are a million ways to do it, and every single one is better. Hell, just have Morgan Freeman narrate it.
Another thing,the film only takes place in two locations (Gotham and some hole probably somewhere in eastern Europe). That's all well and good, but these two locations are so far between and there is no indication how they get to and from this place. Because the movie never takes time to explain such small, yet annoying details. Batman is bound by laws of physics already established in the previous titles. The bending of time is not one such law.
The movie should have been split in two parts. Even with its almost 3 hour long run time, it's nowhere near enough.
Problem 2: Bane and his plans.
From the very beginning of the movie it is established that Bane is the villain that we're supposed to fear so, naturally, the director has plenty of original tricks hidden up his sleeve to send that extra shiver down our spine just for the heck of it. Fear is the key word here. He wants Gotham to fear, and goes to town on the necks and backs of the innocent people like some deluded wrestler. I wonder if we'll see him in a Mexican parody portrayed by Jack Black any time soon.
 |
| The entire first part of The Dark Knight Rises... |
Well yes, more or less, but that is not all. In a sudden twist, Bane decides to play a wicked little on the citizens by giving them a shred of hope. But in order to save themselves, they have to fight each other.
Bane plays a game of sacrifice, you say? Like the Joker did in The Dark Knight?
I'm certain you're starting to see the pattern here. Bane's methods are a mash of both previous movies with added brawn, as well as the calmness of a gentleman, but does he live up to the legacy left behind by those who came before?
Let's put things in perspective.
Al Ghul put such a fright in Wayne that he is still haunted by his image.
The Joker killed his love interest, corrupted his friend, made Gotham turn its back on him, and made him cower inside the walls of his mansion for eight years in pure self-loathing.
Mental torture is not Bane's thing, and therefore he does not even come close. Despite this, it was somehow decided that Bane is supposed to be the sort of 'endgame' for the series. Except seemingly being everywhere at once, he does not pose much of a threat, and it is quite strange how the Bat is so quickly defeated.
 |
| ...and the entire second part. |
And as a side note, the Joker just wanted to see the city burn for the heck of it, never really telling us the truth of his scars and playing games of life and death with citizens and his own men alike. And that made him a much more fearful character.
At least Bane's voice is cool.
Problem 3: Manuscript.
I had hoped this would go without saying. I really did. Looking at the praise the movie received from critics and fans alike - unable to grasp that they have been victims to yet another hype - I must sadly descent from my high horse and revel you in details.
The script in The Dark Knight Rises is horrible.
I admit that both Begins and Dark Knight had their share of idiotic lines, but this one caused an overload in that pink slab of meat encased within the top of my head. It's not that the lines themselves are bad, it's just how there doesn't seem to be a single normal conversation. For further reading, see Problem 1.
There seems to be only two types of lines presented throughout. The first falls under the witty-slash-heroic category, ranging from most of Batman's quotes like 'It's not a car' and 'so that's how that feels', to pretty much everything coming from Bane's mouth. The second is the more wise stuff- sayings to leave afterthoughts. Alfred heads that department.
As I said, even though some lines fall out of place, they are not bad per se. Of course there is a manuscript involved, but it has never before been as evident than in this movie. Few actors seem to have even a shred of humanity, and those who do - Kane and Freeman - rarely get any screen time at all. Which is a shame, because Alfred - that's Kane - is perhaps the best character in the entire trilogy. It's a shame to see him reduced to mere necessity machine instead of that living, breathing grandfather we all wish we had.
Problem 4: The music.
Do I remember the music in Batman? No, I don't, but it was there, lurking the background like some annoying fly just out of reach, and every single one was as forgettable as the last.
Perhaps Zimmer spawned so many songs that they had a hard time to figure out where to push them in. That could explain why they added a brooding, dark tune to what was supposed to be a touching, romantic moment. Where's the piano, Zimmer? The soft plucking of a guitar? Then again, I don't imagine the Batman to put on Barry White during sexytime.
Ironically enough, the fight scene between Bane and Batman somewhere in the middle is what I remember the best - because there was no music involved. Perhaps that was the point too - to create as much noise as possible so that the silence became seemed sweeter. And it sure did.
Again, time. For further reading, see Problem 1.
Problem 5: The overall feel.
The Dark Knight Rises tries to pull a more epic feel to it, involving more of pretty much everything, but ends with everything being mediocre at best and downright horrible at worst. What's that? You want an example? Here. They included as many cops as possible and make them fight henchmen in the snow so that they could pretend to be Gangs of New York but, of course, never even come close. And it seems awfully weird to pull an all-out melee when everyone's armed with some kind of weapon.
In fact, there was only one fight scene I thought was good - the one without music - all the others ones felt silly or uninspired in many ways, but even that one was a drag compared to the fight scene in the rotating hallway in Inception, also one of Nolan's works, and one of the best scenes in recent memory.
At the very least we could finally see a good Catwoman. Once again, the script pretty much screwed her over, but the character - and the actor - both did fine jobs.
So what do we end up with?
An end product that is average at best and pretty much awful at worst. A product that doesn't even come close to its predecessors. A product that was sucked dry of emotion and tension just so the crowd would be pleased. A product where as little as possible makes sense, because the cool factor takes up all the space where realism usually stood. A product that is painfully linear, and where nothing exists except for whatever situation the characters finds themselves in.
Perhaps Nolan is not to be blamed for this, because it is true that he had a lot of weight on his shoulders. Yet I do not feel that I can sweeten the stars for a reason like that. Had the ending been better, I might have considered it... but, in truth, the second movie felt much more like an ending than this. In fact, it was no ending at all, only an open invitation for a sequel or - god forbid - a spin-off.
After having been disappointed by another epic squeezed out from between the legs of the prostitute that is Hollywood, I have grown even more certain that most professional reviews are half-assed or results of bribes.
The Dark Knight Rises is far from the worst film I have ever seen, but it is nowhere near an instant classic. For Nolan's sake I hope he never resurrects the Bat. Perhaps it is best to let him rest for now, at least until the inevitable Justice League.
Ingen kommentarer:
Legg inn en kommentar