Film Review: Iron Sky

You may have believed the Nazis to be defeated during the second World War, but this is all bollocks according to director Timo Vuorensola. With the backing of a persistant and dedicated online community, the Finnish team behind the net series Star Wreck takes us to a futuristic world about to get gesprengt. Want to know if the concept is worth your time? Then jump on our zeppelin as we set sieg heil for the iron skies!

  Iron Sky takes place in the year 2018. Somehow, the Nazis managed to sneak themselves up to the dark side of the moon without anyone noticing before the end of the war and, for some reason, supposedly, leaving the Führer behind. The current sitting US President (a parody of Sarah Palin), unaware of the threat that lurks on the moon, sends a manned spacecraft as part of her re-election campaign. Upon landing, the two astronauts stumble upon the Nazi base of operations, resulting in the murder of one and the capture of the second. The Nazis believe the spacecraft to be a precursor of a coming invasion, and so sets a plan into motion to destroy the forces of the Earth to pave way for their vision: a world ruled by the superior Aryan race.

Why did they build flying saucers? And where did they
get those materials? Or provisions?

  I have to admit that I easily fall for interesting concepts even before I see its execution. Yes, I do find Nazis from space an interesting concept, mostly because of the ties to the 70's Grindhouse films and 80's cheesy Sci-fi flicks. Had the movie turned out to be what the trailer made me think it was like - a trashy, over-the-top blast from start to end - it would've been none short of perfection. I tried to enjoy the experience. I really did. But I soon came to the realization that my money (or my sister's money ;) were not well spent. And then my enjoyment plummeted even further. If you are still confused: I was mighty disappointed of the overall package.

  It would take time to list everything that Iron Sky does wrong, but I will at least mention some of it, for your viewing pleasure. First off, the smudge of unprofessional hands upon this work of art is easily spotted already from the fifth minute or so. Not the visuals, of course, as these are gorgeous and stunning, especially for a project like this. I am rather referring to the characters, the story and the language. The first sign of danger reveals itself with the stereotypical black character James Washington, cracking brother-talk with the white Nazi trash, before he himself is turned white through the process of 'aryanization'. Hilarity ensues.

  Only, it's not even remotely funny.

  Iron Sky is, in truth, a mash of comedy and parodies, although it is hard to tell whatever inspiration they have pulled their ideas from. I rest assured that these inspirations are not found on the top shelves, as was proven time and time again by half-assed attempt at making you chuckle. Honestly, I only did so once, at a certain scene taken directly from 'Das Untergang' - a scene you are most likely familiar with if you have as much as heard of the internet - but the rest of such similar scenes only served as cues for synchronized facepalming. To top it all off, none of the characters seemed to be bothered with being believable, perhaps except for Klaus Adler - played by Götz Otto - who I personally thought did the best job of the bunch. For future reference, here's a tip to the team: comedy does not mean the characters need to be flat.

  If you were bewitched by the trailers, you will have noticed the explosives scenes taking up at least half of them. Iron Sky is also part action, but these parts are short and seem to serve no purpose whatsoever - at least considering the disappointing outcome - which makes me believe that the 'fun' was inserted as a means to fill in the blanks left behind by the hollow concept of a Nazi invasion from space. In the end, it feels like at least two entirely different movies in one. Two that should never have been mixed with each other. Much like Cowboys&Aliens. There is a sort of morale to be found in all this mess (that all humans are to be despised, I guess?), but it is hidden so deep in filth that it is near impossible to see. One can ask why they suddenly chose to get all serious by the end - after an hour of jokes that weren't really jokes - but there are plenty of unanswered questions featured in the film already, so might as well just add more to the pile.

  Now, I know what you're thinking. I have been transporting my distaste from mind to words in several paragraphs now, but is there anything worth giving praise for? Actually, there is. I have already put the visuals in a positive light, as is well deserved (although the explosions look a bit odd). There's also the soundtrack, which I found to be fitting. Fitting in more ways than one, since they are done by the German group Laibach. Their cover of 'Life is life' from the 80's paint a good picture of these frisky fellows.

  Thumb up if you like sauerkraut.

  We're at this road's end, ladies and gents. As you may have come to understand now, I did not like Iron Sky at all. In fact, I despise it for what it is: tasteless, unfunny and bland to a point way past boredom. The score is solely based on its good points, for the rest will leave you without hopes for the human race. Therefore it only remains for me to say that if you plan to spend your money on a film for the weekend, pick something else instead.